Did it rain………

A week b4 diwali:
The black Maruthi Alto stood outside the gate honking as if the gates wud open on hearing the horn. The gatekeeper came out hurriedly. He was cursing the driver “Thoonga Vida Matangaley“(Y don they lemme sleep).His afternoon siesta was disturbed. Without any delay, he opened the gates and the let the car in saluting “Salaam Saheb” at the same time. He was from a village near tirunelveli but always said “Salaam Saheb” though after 8 years of being the gatekeeper, he din know wat it meant. The gatekeeper was sure something was wrong. Aiyah(Sir) never came home at noon. He usually leaves at 9 in the morning and came home at around 10 pm when the last show began. Aiyah was the owner of Saty** Cinema. He had carefully nurtured the cinemahouse with all his time and energy as if he was raising his own child. Only two times before had Aiyah come home at noon. First time was when India reached the finals of Cricket World Cup in 2003. The second time was when the Tsunami wreaked havoc in Chennai and his best friend had gone missing along with the waves.
Aiyah did not wait for the driver and got out of the car himself. He was suffering from arthritis and usually walked with a walking stick. This time, he left the walking stick in the car. The driver understood that Aiyah was in some sort of trouble and drove around to the parking lot. The honking had alerted everyone in the house and a cup of coffee was ready when he sat on the sofa. His son Ramalingulu was waiting for his father’s arrival and walked over and sat near him. Ramu knew exactly why Aiyah was angry. The past six months had been disastrous for the cinema house. Though 2 or 3 movies were good hits, Aiyah had invested in a movie which bombed. Collections were falling and in fact two theatres were running empty.
“Vera Vazhiye Illayaa?“(Isnt there any other way?) Aiyah asked.
Ramu just shook his head. He had learnt long time ago that the best mode of communication with his father was through signs and minimum use of words and it was completely useless to raise one’s voice against him.
“Vera Vazhiye Illayaa?“(Isnt there any other way?) Aiyah asked again.
The idea had struck him when he was searching for topics for his thesis. He was doing his master’s in management in Australia then and he was to do a thesis on Crisis Management. He was a history buff and chose Greeko Roman methods of crisis management. He learnt how they used the gladiatorial arenas and the Colosseum for safeguarding people at times of natural calamities and then used entertainment as a source of comfort and morale booster. These structures were built at the centre of the city and hence safe from the fury of the seas and the volcanic mountains. “Throw some silver iodide and lo! You have rain !!“, his Chemistry teacher had taught him during his school years.
“Eppo Seyya Pora?”(When are you gonna do it?) Aiyah asked Ramu.
“One week before divali“, he replied calmly.
Aiyah was taken aback. “Appo Divali collection??“
“Vijay Padam thaane…adhu aal illame odum…oru problem illa..“(Vijay movies will run even without any crowd)
Aiyah was glad that Ramu had thought of everything and tears of joy came running out of his eyes. “Unna Sadharanama Nenachen..Peria Aala aaga pore”(Ur gonna b a great man one day)

Some days later:
Just when the SUN News reporter announces that the there will not be any rain for the coming week, Aiyah comes in to the house. His face is red with fury. Ramu’s plan had worked out but again the collections are falling . He is totally tensed. He picks up his mobile and calls up Ramu:
“Dey Ramu…”
Ramu interrupts his dad and says”Appa…Kavalapadhey…naan pathukeren..“(Donot worry…I shall take care..) and hangs up.

18th December 2005:(Sunday)
X: dey machcha…exam thirumbiyum postponed huh?
Y: think so da…stupid site is not loading..
X: okie da..one of ma frnz temme tat it is postponed..anyway do check it da..
Y: tat news has come from ever reliable”Sun news”
X: oh ten plz call up ur col n confirm da
Y: macha…confirmed no exam today
X: yippieeeeeee!!!gr8 da..adhu seri...endha padam polaam da??

PS:
References to all works of art,etc are entirely factual and can be seen even today. This is a conspiracy theory and so any factual error, if present, would be attributed to another conspiracy theory
-Author

Oru Maalai..Nila..

First of all… Belated Merry Xmas 2 all of u..couldnt post any during the weekend since I was away in Coimbatore. Coimbatore is the place where I grew up n all my frnz r there. Met as many frnz as possible n had a gr8 time during the stay there n got bak 2 calicut yesterday.

One of my friends told me that the blog is kool(felt elated!) but the background pic is too bright and affects readability. Asked some of the regular readers of this blog and they too felt the same. So decided to tinker with it n hence the new look.Hoz it??

Had written my first poem a month ago. Used to hate poems in school since prose was so easy to read. Y do people take pains to write about things so cryptically??Was never able to understand it. So I surprised myself when I sat on my computer n typed in this poem. N the mother of all coincidences is tat the poem is about the moon and the new look is also about moon!!!!

Every day I wish
that I wake before the sun
But I sleep after it rises
Instead of the orange splendour
I grizzle in the fierce yellow

Why?
I love the moon and
Her fake illuminance
I share her grief all night
For she carries
the weight of elses glory
And cannot hold a place of her
own under the sun.

But once in a fortnight
She basks in glory
The glory is stygian
All are stupified and
grope in search of shadows.
This goes on till
the moon rejoices.

Let her rejoice
on the sole day
She is promethean.
Why?
Because its ephemeral.
And again I sleep
after the sun rises.

The Prince’s last rites

Sourav Chandidas Ganguly: A year ago, the question in his mind was whether he would be leading India beyond the World Cup 2007. The next question was whether he would lift the cup dancing down the track to the bowlers like he almost did in South Africa. Then someone asked him who the next coach should be. Pop it came out of his mouth:Greg Stephen Chappell. Greg Chappell was largely seen as the factor behind India’s surprisingly good performance in Australia. Ganguly had sought his advice before the test series there. They would have even won the test series if only Parthiv Patel had learnt how to stump rather than pose before cameras. Despite the tries n cries of many ppl 2 bring in a “Swadesi” coach,(here too..duh!) Chappell became the coach of the Indian Cricket Team. Scene then: Camel rider(Ganguly) inside the tent, Camel(Chappell) outside n the tent held firmly by its owner, Jagmohan Dalmiya(Club-standard wicketkeeper) and the rest, as they say is history. Camel kicked the rider out of the tent. The owner also got kicked out democratically(the election actually was observed by a former election commissioner…man how jobless these ppl are!!). The man in power, Mr. Pawar(whoz only cricket connection is his Father in law, a former leg spinner) is currently trying to kiss the well tanned Aussie’s ass. Ever heard of an agricultural minister becoming the President of the richest sporting board in the nation??U should not be surprised since we already have ministers ruling almost all the sporting boards(tennis, football, shooting….the list is lengthy)
And how did Ganguly get kicked out??Chappell quietly told him that his rule is over. He patiently scores a century against a sub-standard bowling attack and revealed Chappell’s intentions.He was unceremoniously sent off the one day team because of his poor performance. Kolkattans were infuriated to such an extent that they actually clapped when Dravid was bowled when he played there and the now obvious Eden Garden Fire lights(the dismissal deserved it tho!). Then they brought him back. They then kicked him out with such a force that I doubt whether he wud come bak again. I guess the act was so well planned that even if he had scored a 300+(oops..my imagination!!), he wud have been dropped. And his replacement,last seen, was warming the reserve bench when India played Lanka. Then Mr.Pawar read out his funeral address(“Pawar n Ganguly had an amiable meeting“) today expressing shock over his dismissal from the team. How good these politicians act!
Guess the last rites have been performed now. All we can do is now to look back with misty eyes over a career which had started so impressively (after a largely forgettable debut Down Under) that Geoffrey Boycott revered him as “Prince of Colcotta”.The man would be remembered for his heroic leadership skills especially down under and also for resurrecting India cricket when it was hit by an earthquake called Match fixing, the after effects of which are felt even now. His exquisite timing and those regal shots offside largely compensated for the vacuum left by Azhar’s termination from the game. For his “bare-chested act” after winning the Nat West series at Lords’ in 2002 defying all traditions and decor of the English dressing room.A man who has been asked to drop his batting gloves just because they dint fit the President’s hands. But he will always be remembered for one quote:“We know and they know that we can beat them.” before that immortal series when Aussies were Laxmanised. Ask the English. All they would say is”He showed us that the Aussies are not invincibles.”

PS:
I sincerely hope that he makes a comeback to the Indian cricket team and pooh pooh this obit:-)

Long wait over

Ever seen this TATA SAFARI ad on tv??A guy walks, head hung, shoulders drooping: monday morning blues wit a ‘requiem’ as the bgm n then releases all his pressure by driving a Tata Safari?I have always wanted 2 do such a thing …to release all the worries and the dull moments of life on a monday morning…Alas!Dint have any luck this monday 😦

Me, my friend n another buddy walked into the bank at noon. Bcos of the last week’s events, we went in prepared for anything. First I got my passbook n I updated it n found tat the cash has been transferred. Even b4 I cud say ‘hurray’,all te staff walked out all of a sudden!”Now wat the @#$%”, my frnd askd me.”Who knows”,I replied. All the employees walked out n all the customers were left wondering wat was going on. Then someone enquired n seems they were gonna protest. I prayed to God tat the strike doesnt take forever. All the staff stood outside the bank n started making a peaceful(!) protest. “**** zindabad….**** zindabad….”.Though I have been in kerala for 3 n half years, I never seen a demonstration or a strike live. They started off slowly n then someone with a took over. They were protesting against the implementation of core banking since it puts a lot of pressure on them. But it was an amusing site.Did someone tell them tat we were short of entertainment there? No offense meant but why did they do it? This continued for almost half an hour n we were keepin an eye on the clock. Seems there will be bank strike on New Year’s Eve. Then normal service resumed. As usual I was made to move around b4 I cud withdraw my cash..Peace atlast! My frnd got a record of the transaction n guess his case will also b solved asap. Thanks to all readers who have cared n helped me n my frnd see through this ordeal 🙂

PS:
Ma dear frnd Dheeraj has started a techie blog. Do read it, especially userz of orkut,terz lot u guyz can make use of 😉

Weekend Watch

Evry1 likes 2 celebrate 25th,50th,75th,etc..i hate numbers endin wit 5..so am three cheers 2 everyone whoz taken painz 2 read my blog everyday on my 26th post! 😉
Haven been doin anything over te past couple of dayz. Not even lazin around. Was tied to my room due to the sprain. It was very BAD on friday nite. Then due 2 my frnz massaging skills, it improved a lot on saturday n i am almost free of pain now. N thanks 2 all of u ppl for carin abt me 🙂
Wit nothing 2 do, wotchd two movies.
Forrest gump:
A classic 2 say te least!Zemeckis n Hanks @ ter best. Anybody noticed how al te classic movies hve minimal dialogues n used te scene n te actorz body language 2 te max…a must watch.
Tarzan2:
Yet another cartoon movie. Had a kind of aversion to cartoon movies.Wat de hell,all te movies have te same storyline:some kid runs away n ten his frnz or family hunts him n te all join together n evrything is fine @ te end. Te masala in it can put even a Bollywood movie 2 shame Its a kid or an ape or a fish or a lion or even a monster.But isnt it evry kids dream come true on screen. Everyone of us,at some age or the other, must hve wanted 2 save te world at times of crisis n beat the shit out of the bad people.
Tis movie too follows te same path. Tarzan is thought 2 b dead by his family. He thinks tat his absence wud b good for his mom(An ape) since hes not an ape. Ten he meets te monster Zugor whoz actually a gorilla tat jus keeps shouting “Zugor, Zugor…” to scare away from other animals for food. He discovers tis trick n ten te gorilla promises 2 help tarzan discover wat type of animal he actually is. Ter is tis song where he follows other animals n does wat tey do. He tries 2 fly, eat fruits from trees like te giraffe,etc which is wholesome fun 2 watch. Tis is te best part of te movie. Ten his frnz hunt him down n after some tense moments, terz a reunion n tey live happily together!
Read THE HINDU SUNDAY MAG. Wat hit me vr two articles: Ramachandra Guha‘s article on te “Temples of Modern India” ie te Dams. Seems Nehruji repented tat the dams vr built since it had caused te displacement of so many ppl n all te other negatives associated wit it. And te writer contrasts tis wit te reactions of Indiraji n Rajiv Gandhi. While Indiraji made ppl realise tat she was helpless, Rajiv Gandhi was totally ignorant of te issue. Ten there was tis article by M.Malleswara Rao on the golden jubilee of Nagarjunasagar dam which was more like a brochure read. The stereotyped article extolling the virtues of Panditji’s foresight, the sweat n toil of the ppl, te technical capabilities of the engineers(yawn! yawn!). And it ended wit a plea for 6k crores for renovating it!
The best article,according 2 me, was te one on AIDS rehabilitation in Tamil Nadu. Seems the AIDS related work is being carried out wit gr8 concern n seriousness n tis has resulted in a reduction of prevalence rate from 0.75% to 0.50% n te awareness rate is 95%! Guess no more “Pulli Rajakku AIDS varuma..”! 😉

Y does IT happen 2 me!

With jus a single class in the whole wide day, life does get boring. Had a gr8 lunch. Getting tired of doing nothing, I slept off in the after noon. Then woke up 2 a shrill call from a frnd of mine for playing cricket. Had played cricket actually two days back. Without spirit, without enthu, cricket sucked! Cud neither bowl nor bat properly. And in the end, all tat i got was a sore shoulder n a tennis elbow(hope it doesn lead 2 an operation as in te case of Sachin 😉 ) .So decided 2 give it up for a week inspite of angry glares from ma frnz. Then at precisely 8 pm, my frnd sap walks in n calls me for a football match. Football n tat too under lights!!i cudn refuse…sore shoulder n tennis elbow aint gonna affect me playing football, i tell myself. So i step in to te field. We played very well(!) n coupla passes wud hve made Becks envy. Then my junior decides enuff is enuff n v both engaged in ruff play which meant tat v stamped each other’s legs:my left n his right. I go down wit pain. I din pass out. So no fracture, I convince myself n played wit renewed vigour. Then tried 2 kick a ball which I shd hve headed n injured my right leg’s toe. Arrrrrrrhhhhhh…..!

Came bak 2 room n had a fun time wit my frnz forgetting all about my leg injuries. Tats te thing wit frnz. Tey make u forget all ur painz. Ten i got up to attend a fone call. Aiyoo!I realised wat had happened. I look down n c blood on my right leg’s toes n te other one is swollen.I thought of moving 2 te next room but stood midway since I cud walk no longer. I limped bak 2 my room n let out a cry of pain. I hated myself for havin played football. I sent my frnz all over te hostels to get me some pain balm or the other. Hated myself for having refused to pack iodex when my mom told me to(Mothers hve a gr8 foresight i think). Within five minutes, the pain moved from bad 2 worse n ma frnd saved me when he came rushing in with a Moov. Used 2 hate moov since it used 2 blantly depict iodex as a loser in its ad. Who te f**k carez! The pain has subsided to an xtent tho i hav cramps since I havn moved ma leg for so long….Wat a gr8 start 2 a weekend(sob..sob!!)

AI…way 2 go

Artificial Intelligence: wats te fuss abt it?
It is the science and engineering of making intelligent machines, especially intelligent computer programs. It is related to the similar task of using computers to understand human intelligence, but AI does not have to confine itself to methods that are biologically observable.

Relevance of AI (within past 24 hrs):
Instance #1:
After two weeks of unrestricted access to the internet back home, tis Cyberoam thing is driving me crazy in my room. Tis is wat cyberoam is all about:
“Cyberoam is the only solution that gives you the benefit of dealing with your Internet problems through a single installation. That translates to ease-of-use. A must-have solution to create and enforce efficient Internet Management Policies”
In layman’s termz, its a s/w tat blocks websites based upon its content and helps in managing internet traffic.Te product seems to b a conspiracy against Firefox (read:*****soft corp & co. ). Most of the websites gets blocked for no reason at all in Mozilla Firefox browser alone. Wats wrong wit viewing orkut.com?More so if te same is not restricted in Internet Explorer?? The same also occurs wit many other sites especially those of Google. Another major complaint is tat any link wit cricket gets banned n te request is logged on to a central server. But herez te catch: cricinfo.com can b viewed unhindered! Tis site is like the Bible of Cricket on te net. Seems the restriction on cricket was to prevent employees of s/w companies from keeping a tab on scores. The person who designed tis product must have been quite a dumbass. How come cricinfo.com missed his/her eye I dunno. The students though have fun wit tis Cyberoam when one found out tat our exam timetable cud not be viewed since it was classifed as pornography by Cyberoam!!!The only time we agreed with its behaviour i think [;-)]!!!!

Instance #2:
Had our first class on AI today morning. Sir started te slide show wit some intro quotes n a take on Turing. Rewind to ma third sem when I was very much interested in Turing.Te whole of me was bristling wit excitement as if i am gonna b te nxt Alan Turing! Spent a lot of time on te net researchin abt him(not wat he did 😉 ). As te year went on I lost all my interest n realised tat I wud b yet another s/w engineer cursing wateva hes doin.
Titbit: Turing Prize given annually is considered as Nobel Prize for Computer Science.

Instance #3:
Read in BBC tat some researchers from the Univ of Amsterdam hav found out tat Leo Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa was mainly happy when she was painted using emotion recognition s/w(another instance of AI). It concluded tat te subject was 83% happy, 9% disgusted, 6% fearful and 2% angry.(Hmm..these guyz should help out the Cyberoam gang i guess)

Instance #4:
Reputation is more a social notion of trust. In our lives, we each maintain a set of reputations for people we know. When we need to work with a new, unknown person, we can ask people with whom we already have relationships for information about that person. Based on the information we gather, we form an opinion about the reputation of the new person. This system works well, even though there are a lot of people in the world, because communities tend to be highly interconnected, and the number of steps between any two people tends to be rather small. This is known as the Small World effect, and it has been shown to be true for a variety of social and web-based systems. Best eg: orkut.com!

AI has come a long way since Bill Bulko quoted: “Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.” AI is penetrating our life in every way possible. Don wanna sound frankestenian. However one must remember, “A computer’s attention span is only as long as its power cord.“Instead of trying to replace human activities by things like AI, it wud b better off as a supplementary force(wanted a happy ending..cheers!!! 🙂 )

Wait….So wat if U r not in queue

Had a first-hand experience of red tapism today. Well we all came bak to calicut after the hols(too short to call it a vacation) n as alwayz tere was this huge crowd outside the bank to pay the fees. And this time we have a 7 day period to pay the fees. The lazy bum i am decided to wait for a couple of days. So I got up early(somewhr around 9 30…the sun was about to rise 😉 ) and around 10 i reached the bank. Its been long time since I had deposited a dd. I had my dad’s atm card n so never had to wait for a demand draft to relieve my monetary woes. After 30 minutes of exchanging hi n hellos to all ma frnz i finally get to the front.

Clerk:a/c no?

Me : ****

(Clerk types it in and tries some wizadry with the computer. Me standing there and chuckling)

Clerk(as if to avenge me): A/c does not exist

Me:(shocked) Wat (the f**k)?

Clerk: Core banking, so accounts gets closed (as if i was born wit knowledge abt core banking)

We try to cross check it but seems due a long period of inactivity, they had decided to close my account!!!!Gr8 na??Wat a customer service! They close my account and doesnt even bother to inform me,stayin justa coupla miles away from them. I ask them wat to do n the lady clerk cooly replies tat I wud have to open a new account in order to encash the draft n returns to her work(ie to stare at her monitor)

I am dumbstruck. After 5 minutes, I return bak to normalcy. Then I decide to call my dad. My dad works in a bank. When I tell him, he is totally pissed off. He advises me to do just as the clerk had told me. With great trepidation, I walk in again. The lady flashes a sly smile n gives me a form to fill up. I do n seems I need someone to recommend me. In walks my lab tutor last sem and he signs duly. I must mention that I was impressed because the whole process of opening an account hardly takes more than 2 minutes. Everything is gonna b fine I tell myself. Then the manager in charge asks me to pay 500 bucks as min balance. I do that and since everything is goin well, the lady asks me to come in the afternoon(tats 4 hrs later) so tat i cud hve my account no. Man! core banking or wot, these ppl won sleep peacefully unless they mention “Ucheku sesham vandhaal madhi“(Its enuff if u come in the noon).Guess my a/c no is decided by some complex time bound algorithm which wud take atleast 4 hrs.

So, me n frnd(another victim….more on tat below) walk in to the bank again at 2 pm. The queue is still there but I walk straight to the clerk’s place. Shes yet to return from her lunch. By then, her neighbour tries to make me understand how much the bank wud bear becos of my account(duh!). Around 20 mins later, she comes n immediately recognises me. I am happy as she flashes all her teeth n grins at me. I din know then tat te smile of a lioness readyto pounce upon her prey. Happy at last tat the ordeal is gonna end, I give her the forms n wait till she shows off her typing skills. The dd is from another bank and usually the drawee bank allows the account holder to encash it with some money discounted. She returns the counter foil. Me checks it and then asks her quitely as to when the draft can b encashed. Taking all the time in the world, she replies,”Oh, adho naal divasam edukkum….aduthu aayicha vandha madhi“(It will take four days..come next week). Her reply din at all come as a shock to me. She retaines her smile n answers all our questions wit “naa” “hmmm…” “ummhummm..“. I press the panic button n call my dad. When I tell him abt te clerk’s behaviour, he din seem surprised and instead asks me to try again. I tell him tat itz futile. He understood it fully and told me tat itz of no use and I wud have to wait till next monday. I remember an earlier conversation wit my dad when he talked as to how ppl expect royal treatment in a private bank n bow down to the public banks.
And as to my frnd, well hes one of those early birds and decided to pay asap. Alas, even public bank ATMs resemble their employees. He tries to pay the mess dues(around 1500+). First te ATM tells him tat the transaction was not processed. Then the next time, he finds tat te 1500+ amount is missing from his account! He prints a mini statement n even then there is no record as to where the money went! For the past three days, hes been running from one branch to another n calling up te managers everywhere. Reason: “E therukkunu sesham ingana aavam chance kuduthulaa..“(Due to tis rush, tere are chances of such mistakes happening). Till now, his efforts hav been futile but v all do hope he do gets his amount bak.
Had read tis poem long bak and searched for it in google n found it. Was reminded of it when I was pleading wit the lady clerk especially the lines..
“And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”

Ore Nybagam

Something I have always wanted 2 post for a long time. Tis song was one of my favs wen i was in school. Te song is from movie Minnale. The other songs in te movie vr a hit but tis wasnt noticed much. But i love it totally.
Ore Nyabagam from Minnale
Eru vizhi unathu
Emaigalum unathu
Kanavugal Mattum
Enathe enathu

Naatkal Neeluthey
Nee Enge Ponudhum
Enn Dhandanai
Naan Inge Vazhvadhum
Oh o….Ore Nyabagam
Oh o….Unthan Nyabagam

Kaadhal Kaayum nerumbodhu
Thuukam ingu yethu
Ore Nyabagam……..
Ore Nyabagam……

Tags Up!

Divya tagged me! so i am also supposed 2 list down 7 things i do b4 i die, 7 things i can do, 7 things i cannot do, 7 things tat attracts me tp another person, 7 things i say often, 7 souls i tagged. Been truthful 2 an xtent.

1. 7 things i do b4 i die:
1.start a company
2.direct a movie
3.manage a football club(EPL preferably)
4.do somethin good socially
5 innovate constantly
6.to write a best seller
7.world peace(duh!)

2. 7 things i can do:
1. write anything
2. quizzing
3. B in front of te comp altime
4.managing n motivating people
5.talk wit a vision
6.think up crazy theories(futuristic n highly possible ones)
7. like everyone around me

3. 7 things i cannot do:
1. write n draw neatly
2. write wit my right hand
3. not b lazy
4. talk definitive crap
5. b definitive in my career ambitions
6. sleep b4 2 i n te nite
7. wake up b4 te sun does so

4. 7 things that attracts me to other person
1. never say die attitude
2. Jo apne zindagi jeeye aur mujko meri jeene diye
3. intellect
4. quizzer
5. makin complete use of their talent
6. b responsible
7. Trustworthy

5. 7 things i say most of the time
1. yeda(sometimes ada)
2.machcha
3.wokay
4.kewl
5.******
6.ennada aachu
7.f***

6. 7 souls i tagged:
1. ponds
2.Trinity Teal
3.Ravi
4.Abhishek
5.His Excellency
6.Nikhil
7. Satya