Wait….So wat if U r not in queue

Had a first-hand experience of red tapism today. Well we all came bak to calicut after the hols(too short to call it a vacation) n as alwayz tere was this huge crowd outside the bank to pay the fees. And this time we have a 7 day period to pay the fees. The lazy bum i am decided to wait for a couple of days. So I got up early(somewhr around 9 30…the sun was about to rise 😉 ) and around 10 i reached the bank. Its been long time since I had deposited a dd. I had my dad’s atm card n so never had to wait for a demand draft to relieve my monetary woes. After 30 minutes of exchanging hi n hellos to all ma frnz i finally get to the front.

Clerk:a/c no?

Me : ****

(Clerk types it in and tries some wizadry with the computer. Me standing there and chuckling)

Clerk(as if to avenge me): A/c does not exist

Me:(shocked) Wat (the f**k)?

Clerk: Core banking, so accounts gets closed (as if i was born wit knowledge abt core banking)

We try to cross check it but seems due a long period of inactivity, they had decided to close my account!!!!Gr8 na??Wat a customer service! They close my account and doesnt even bother to inform me,stayin justa coupla miles away from them. I ask them wat to do n the lady clerk cooly replies tat I wud have to open a new account in order to encash the draft n returns to her work(ie to stare at her monitor)

I am dumbstruck. After 5 minutes, I return bak to normalcy. Then I decide to call my dad. My dad works in a bank. When I tell him, he is totally pissed off. He advises me to do just as the clerk had told me. With great trepidation, I walk in again. The lady flashes a sly smile n gives me a form to fill up. I do n seems I need someone to recommend me. In walks my lab tutor last sem and he signs duly. I must mention that I was impressed because the whole process of opening an account hardly takes more than 2 minutes. Everything is gonna b fine I tell myself. Then the manager in charge asks me to pay 500 bucks as min balance. I do that and since everything is goin well, the lady asks me to come in the afternoon(tats 4 hrs later) so tat i cud hve my account no. Man! core banking or wot, these ppl won sleep peacefully unless they mention “Ucheku sesham vandhaal madhi“(Its enuff if u come in the noon).Guess my a/c no is decided by some complex time bound algorithm which wud take atleast 4 hrs.

So, me n frnd(another victim….more on tat below) walk in to the bank again at 2 pm. The queue is still there but I walk straight to the clerk’s place. Shes yet to return from her lunch. By then, her neighbour tries to make me understand how much the bank wud bear becos of my account(duh!). Around 20 mins later, she comes n immediately recognises me. I am happy as she flashes all her teeth n grins at me. I din know then tat te smile of a lioness readyto pounce upon her prey. Happy at last tat the ordeal is gonna end, I give her the forms n wait till she shows off her typing skills. The dd is from another bank and usually the drawee bank allows the account holder to encash it with some money discounted. She returns the counter foil. Me checks it and then asks her quitely as to when the draft can b encashed. Taking all the time in the world, she replies,”Oh, adho naal divasam edukkum….aduthu aayicha vandha madhi“(It will take four days..come next week). Her reply din at all come as a shock to me. She retaines her smile n answers all our questions wit “naa” “hmmm…” “ummhummm..“. I press the panic button n call my dad. When I tell him abt te clerk’s behaviour, he din seem surprised and instead asks me to try again. I tell him tat itz futile. He understood it fully and told me tat itz of no use and I wud have to wait till next monday. I remember an earlier conversation wit my dad when he talked as to how ppl expect royal treatment in a private bank n bow down to the public banks.
And as to my frnd, well hes one of those early birds and decided to pay asap. Alas, even public bank ATMs resemble their employees. He tries to pay the mess dues(around 1500+). First te ATM tells him tat the transaction was not processed. Then the next time, he finds tat te 1500+ amount is missing from his account! He prints a mini statement n even then there is no record as to where the money went! For the past three days, hes been running from one branch to another n calling up te managers everywhere. Reason: “E therukkunu sesham ingana aavam chance kuduthulaa..“(Due to tis rush, tere are chances of such mistakes happening). Till now, his efforts hav been futile but v all do hope he do gets his amount bak.
Had read tis poem long bak and searched for it in google n found it. Was reminded of it when I was pleading wit the lady clerk especially the lines..
“And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”